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The Modern Tribune publishes articles submitted to it which articulate a particular position or issue relating to war and the politics of war. We will publish both sides of the issue.


Table of Contents
Articles on War and Peace


"Proof or Platitudes"
By Sean F. Holland

"World protest, but Bush Won't Listen"

By Sean F. Holland

"No Amount of Proof Would Change Some People's Minds"

By Joe Beglan


"
Iraq Crisis Appears More and More to be a Manufactured One"
By N. Feather

"Speak Softly Dear George... Restrained Righteousness and The Union"
By Matthew Blue

"The Monkey Goes Where the Wind Blows "
By Dave Tomar

"Lack of Leadership
By Sean F. Holland

See special Article from Rita Kidd "A Voice From America"


Proof or Platitudes
By SEAN F. HOLLAND
February 24, 2003


Quote from Article - "It isn't that "No amount of proof" would change our minds, but rather that the total lack of any evidence causes us to seriously question the veracity of this administration's propaganda." (Answer to Joe Beglan Article Below)


In his article, No Amount of Proof Would Change Some People's Minds, (Joe
Beglan, February 14, 2003), Joe appears to take a position that there are
significant benefits to going to war, as well as voicing the contention
that the millions who oppose this perception that "War is the Answer",
are "hamstringing our country's ability to survive and prosper".
Mr. Beglan's line of reasoning appears to be, "I'm right, and everyone
else who disagrees must be a liberal pacifists ignorant of all the facts
that I possess".  I can not find anywhere in his words the perception
that there could be a rational reason for dissuading this
administration's rush to judgment in Iraq.  Despite the overwhelming
lack of any evidence linking Saddam to Al-qaeda or his possession of any
means to deliver weapons of mass destruction in a threat to America;  The
grand failure to capture or place any realistic blockade in the way of
bin Laden and his minions;  And the massive opposition around the World
against America's scheme to invade Iraq, Joe appears to believe Bush and
Rumsfeld are justified to waste billions on a war that has little chance
of success in improving either our security or our prosperity. 
While he seems amazed that anyone who professes to be patriotic might
support a reasoned approach to war, or might object to taking precipitous
action without a significant coalition of allies, as well as the full
support of the United Nations Security Council, I find it amazing that he
is unwilling to allow the inspections to continue, and let diplomacy have
the opportunity to succeed. 

No one that I know who opposes this flawed and potentially disastrous
rush to war, holds any hope that Saddam will somehow become a benign or
compassionate leader for the people of Iraq.  We all share in our
distaste and contempt for both Saddam's actions and his deceit.  At the
same time America must take responsibility for creating and supporting
Saddam, for it was but a few short years ago that we funneled arms,
money and support to Saddam, when he was our ally in our opposition to
Iran.  At the time he was using weapons of mass destruction on Iranian
troops and the Kurdish opponents in Iraq, we stood idly by in support of
the very acts we now condemn. 

The true sign of leadership in Washington today is shown by the few, such
as Senator Byrd, who urge restraint and reason, rather than the
platitudes and slogans voiced by Pearl, Wolfowitz, and Rumsfeld.  It
isn't that "No amount of proof" would change our minds, but rather that
the total lack of any evidence causes us to seriously question the
veracity of this administration's propaganda.
Sean F. Holland


World protest, but Bush won't listen
By SEAN F. HOLLAND
February 18, 2003

While millions around the world protested in opposition to the war in
Iraq, Bush maintains his conviction that war is the only way to save
America.  He "knows best", and has an attitude that nothing will dissuade
him from authorizing the use of massive force against Saddam.  This
obstinate perception that war is the only answer, negates the very basis
of democracy.  Our current administration is blind to the use of
diplomacy, and lacks rational leaders who will urge restraint.  Instead
of caution, we have a cacophony of rhetoric aimed at creating fear and
dismay within our population.  The administration distorts the truth, and
uses bluster and threats to bring reluctant allies to support their war..
 
At a time when great leadership is called for, we receive platitudes as
well as threats of being labeled "Un American" if anyone attempts to
stand up for democracy.  The justification that we are going to somehow
put a halt to terrorism by attacking Saddam, negates the fact that our
effort at rounding up Al-qaeda in Afghanistan has been thwarted by inept
planning, insufficient augmentation, and our administrations
unwillingness to commit to a realistic plan of implementation to assure
success.  With Bin Laden running free, Bush now turns his attention to "Save the people of Iraq", and his proposal to "Save them", is to destroy
their country.

The most serious threat to America at this moment in time, is our very
own administration.  I urge everyone to call or write your elected
representatives and voice you objection to our proposed course of attack.

No Amount of Proof Would Change Some People's Minds
By Joe Beglan
February 14, 2003

It never ceases to amaze me that many people in America who profess to be
patriotic Americans always choose NO War under any circumstance. No amount of
proof (up to and including video tape of Suddam Hussein making rockets in his palace basement) would change some people minds. Any military action is evil. I find there are many motives of people for this, some noble some not so.
. True distaste for the loss of life
. The need to feel superior to those Neanderthals that always want war. I am
   better than you because I don't believe in war.
. The absolute distrust of all American leaders especially those who aren't
   ready to deliver a utopian society
. Complete faith in the goodness in all people
. Feeling of being powerless compared to big business, government, etc.

Where would we be but for many military actions in our history, for that
matter where would the world be. I am not anxious to send our men off to
fight and die but the world does not play by our rules. To be so ignorant as
to even think proof of immanent attack on us by Iraq must meet the justice
system's level of proof is to seal our doom. The American constitution is
not a suicide pact. It's protections can not be applied in war the same as
in peace no matter how much we wish it could. The more we fight wars and try
to appease public opinion and fit actions into the nice frameworks of the
constitution the worse we will fail. We have relied upon the President to
make foreign policy and have the ability to launch military action with
congressional limits.

There are benefits to going to war not the least of which is giving the
world one less rouge regime to worry about.

. A more stable middle east and oil supply. Not noble enough for you - what
happens if Suddom takes the region and controls the 40% oil supply of the
world as he has attempted previously? So what if we pay a little more for
gas we should be using less anyway? Don't kid yourself, if gas & heating oil
become hard to get or rockets to $6.00 or 7.00 per gallon you can kiss that
utopian society goodbye. People are not so benevolent when there cold, out
of work and hungry. A stable economy and society require sacrifice that can
include lives, better it be Iraq leaders then ours. We are not even
suggesting keeping Iraq as American territory we are simply asking that Iraq
be a good neighbor, stop supporting terrorist, stop killing your people,
pump your oil and become rich and maybe even allow a little dissent once in
awhile.

. Iraqi's have a right to live out from under a sadistic murderer. Why don't
you get Suddom to promise to sign a peace treaty and nothing bad will ever
happen because we will contain him. We were in his country and we
couldn't/wouldn't contain him from gassing his own people and continuing his
reign of terror. Do you think it better to contain him or kill him? I
certainly would opt for a much smaller force to contain and kill him. That
would not be politically correct though for the United States to be seen
assassinating a leader so we  are forced to do it in a more politically
correct way. Yes, war with declarations and UN resolutions and press
conferences has also become politically correct. Would Eisenhower have let a
Saddam Hussein exist without Russian backing?

. Do not underestimate how the world will view our actions. They will
complain at US aggression, our arrogance, our thirst for war but those that
would hurt us will not do so without some fear. How to you count the lives
never lost by this action or previous actions we have taken? That is
something that never is counted in the ledgers of history. You can say we
should have never dropped the bomb on Japan and killed thousand of innocent
Japanese but you never can count the number of lives saved by our actions
and spawned from that. If we do not attack and Suddom is made to go in to
exile we will still have accomplished some level of respect for our
willingness to use force. The North Koreas of the world respect nothing
less. I think Bush has been shown to be right on the mark when you see the
current situation for the axis of evil members.

I know many have good intention who oppose war but I am afraid many are
sheep who just want to feel themselves superior and fain righteous
indignation. Surely many are simply politically motivated who will oppose
anything George Bush does. Hillary where were you when your better half was
bombing in Bosnia and throwing away our stealth technology we spent billions
and billions developing. We could have bought a new country on what we
wasted there. Did we really need stealth against Serbs. Why makes Iraq
action less noble, because it is actually in our interest? If liberals
really want to make themselves feel superior try something less destructive
as hamstringing our country's ability to survive and prosper.


Iraq Crisis Appears More and More to be a Manufactured One
By 
N. FEATHER
February 12, 2003

When I watched the planes ploughing into the World Trade Center, my initial
reaction was to incinerate the perpetrators in their own nuclear wasteland.
On the other hand, the American Government showed remarkable restraint.  The
whole approach to finding and punishing the organizers was relatively slow
and methodical, with consensus building amongst the allies.  It continued
with an overwhelming balanced response and full support of the civilized
world, as well as some who we would not have considered civilized or
supportive.  In fact the President came across as a mature world statesman,
patriot and leader and it changed my opinion of him.

Unfortunately the same cannot be said of the pursuit of Saddam Hussein.
Yes, he deserves to be removed from power with whatever fate you wish, although there are many other world leaders with similar reputations which we are ignoring.  However, the thought of sending American troops to be killed and
mutilated on a policy, which appears more and more to be a domestic
political ploy, is unacceptable.  The whole strategy appears to be a knee-jerk
reaction to negative events at home (with some spin off benefits for his friends),
and is now spiraling out of control.  Consider the following facts of American
politics at the time of the announcement of the Iraq policy:

1.  The mid-term elections were on the horizon, and it appeared the
Republican Party was in danger of losing more seats in the Congress and
Senate, because of several negative factors.

2.  The domestic economy was anemic and heading down with no economic policy on the horizon except for the tired old cliché of cutting taxes.

3.  Questions were being raised about President Bush's possible insider
trading deals in the oil industry. (Investigation closed by the SEC -
political reasons?).

4.  Questions about Vice-President Cheney's dealings at Haliburton (oil
industry service company with experience in Iraq).  He walked away with a
nice settlement, leaving a lot of employees with decimated pensions and a
company in near bankruptcy.

5.  Questions about Thomas White's very comfortable compensation at Enron
(energy/oil) and his claim of complete ignorance about the illegal dealings!

6.  Questions about the Energy Task Force and its total claim of secrecy -
no minutes of proceedings released to the public, no list of attendees, except
for the general acceptance that many of the president's oil industry associates were there.  (Could they be discussing oil??).

7.  The lack of results from the 'Bin Laden dead or alive' statement.

8.  The Republican Party love of military power.

9.  Bush Sr. didn't do the job right the first time.

10.  The image of President Bush as a great statesman, patriot and flag
waver after his handling of September 11 - I was certainly fooled.

Yes, going after Iraq certainly took the average voter's mind off these
factors, especially by using #10 to it's full extent.

I am sorry, but compared with the approach to the Al Qaeda/Taliban problem,
the Iraq crisis appears more and more to be a manufactured one, done on the
spur of the moment with no planning or forethought.  Consider the comparison
with September 11:
                        
1.   Consensus Building / Support.  The America government did not do any
methodical consensus building; in fact we annoyed the states we require for
an effective policy, appearing extremely arrogant in the process.  We acted
like the bullyboy and started pouting when we didn't get full support.  (I
have just heard Rumsfeld's petulant discourse at the members of NATO who
disagree with his stand.)

Russia - Walked away from the Anti-missile Treaty.

NATO, etc - Already dismissed the Kyoto Treaty by using 'voodoo science' to
disclaim it.  (Since then we have accepted it as mostly fact).

Angered many nations with the policy of excepting Americans from the rules
of the International Criminal Court.

Lack of total continuing support from the world body  (Blair, not the U.K.,
appears to be the exception, but I find a Prime Minister behaving like a
lap-dog demeaning and degrading.)

Iran - Calling it part of an 'Axis of Evil' was extremely stupid,
considering it would be a strategic advantage to have it's role as a neutral state or
perhaps with silent support, as in the Afghan attack.

Middle East - The unequivocal appearance of support of Israeli policies
inflames the normal population of the Arab world, and is supposedly a large
part of the reason behind the Al Qaeda action.

2.  No exit strategy.

3.  Oil.  Perhaps it is pay-off to the President and the Vice-President's
oil industry friends?  (Was it attempted earlier with trying to authorize
drilling in the Artic Wildlife Preserve?).

4.  Rhetoric on Iraq. Finally, the President's bellicose rhetoric on Iraq appears to vary inversely
with the state of the American economy and his poll ratings.

No, we are not doing the right thing - I am convinced it is based on
domestic political issues.  I do not feel threatened by Iraq.  Sadam knows he only has to blink in our direction and he is toast.  The Powell presentation at the
UN was eloquent but completely lacking in substance with what appears to be
extremely dubious facts and conclusions.  (If we know all about these
chemical depots, why have we not destroyed them, as we have done with their
air defense systems?)

If we know about their strong ties to Al Qeada, why have we been waiting?
We are not being told the truth.  I feel more threatened by the remnants of
Al Qeada, North Korea, all religious zealots no matter where they come from,
the Israeli - Arab conflict.  I could go on and on but the Iraq threat is
way down on the list.


Speak Softly Dear George... Restrained Righteousness and The Union
By MATTHEW BLUE
January 29, 2003

About last night...

I'm not going to go into a lot of specific issues in the killing field of contradictions that is politics. Have no knowledge of what the left hand is doing - all that jazz. When I approach a situation like this - I  have to narrow the iris of the telescope, and bring the focus in, centralize it-and bring it down to one man, one person.

After all in a real sense we are all plastic dominos teetering on the slick surface of someone's wobbly cheap-ass card table. It's up to each of us-to support the air in-between our small slabs of plastic-to fortify that air with passion, with knowledge, and with vigor.

Without the out-reaching of the mind to understand more than statistics, to quote more than polls, to move more than plastic tanks and men across a CNN map
of the middle east. things topple, they tip-and in giving up and giving way the basic common sense of the very essence of what motivates a man-his policies, his procedures, his armies. His armies actions are taken without permission, are ingested without water-swallowed dry and whole, each and every day-the
willingness of ignorance to gladly accept whatever it is given-or arguing the semantics of the language of contracts, laws, votes, polls, and contradictions is
the distracting right hand of the street magician as he draws your attention away from the mechanics of the illusion in his left.

Basically-the collective consciousness can seem and feel like a sea but it's a manipulated sea-monkey glass bowl of a thing, of an environment, of a sea.
It's the back of the comic promises of blonde haired sea princesses, when really-it's just a package of brine shrimp. It's just an illusion-sometimes, an illusion-the binding of a people, with a cause, under one God, under one man. No doubt the backlash of Pearl Harbor bound the populace with a whalebone corset-no
doubt the image of the Twin Towers left so many mental fists lifted in the air. shaking, because there was no fleet, and no flag to punch.

That is partial cause for the shaking in our President's face tonight, and in his words. Restrained. righteousness.

Now is where we get to the ground beef of the subject. I meet George, when he was still a governor in Texas. I was visiting friends. He was giving a speech at a
community college regarding education. Several hecklers shouted out questions, "Why doesn't Texas pay its teachers more then?", "I have to buy my own
supplies for my class, what about my funding?"

He deftly ignored each and every one of them and continued with his speech. That was my first experience with the man. Afterwards in shaking hands-our talk was glib and gloss, and I understand that one must be a performing monkey on the circuit holding up the tin cup for change, and doing the same jig every time-but still, there was a missing letter block at the bottom of the then pre-school pyramid he was building.

The man. Let's talk about the man. Let's talk about his speech. Let's talk about those spaces between his words, the pauses, the smug reflection of his determination applauded and approved. the quick wind up thru our nation's largest problems-and the focus, almost sneering at times discussion of our war, our fight, our cause, our might, our right.

George for most of the length of the formative years of his adult life-has been searching for the proper thickness of glass-to reflect himself-lighthouse strong in this world.

He was a rebellious student, and enjoyed a pleasurable life. He felt lacking for a casing in which he could contain himself-he was looking for direction. He discovered the refractive qualities of God.

Out of the shadows of managing, building businesses, and in nurturing ideas-grand and not so great-he helped himself to the already full kettle of politics,
the table set by his father-his newly sharpened eyes, believing. really truly believing that he could and can help-he filled his bowl full.

I'll skip over a majority of the rest-as the records plays the same on both sides A and B. Politics is that way. It's the worst of the baby beauty pageants with
constant til 4 am practices of your song and dance routine, and the especially leering expose of young /innocent ideas, and noble qualities in the low-cut and
sequined-studded glamour dresses worn for lobbying. Tonight. Let's talk about tonight.

You have to understand, this at heart-is a man, who believes in himself. He believes-as do many others-that God came to him at a time of his life, when he was needed most. God narrowed the shutter inside of his wanderlust-and brought him to this place. The last step overlooking the populace standing
around the palace, not a balcony to wave from. he's much more grounded-he wants to know, and feel how his good affects his charges.

And that's what we are. Couldn't you hear it when he said, "I will ensure that this (meaning the Twin  Towers) will never happen again."

"I will. "

He is insisting that he knows best-and as a leader  that's his right. But this is where he is coming from in his mind.

He was a little king tossed onto a thrown-supposedly the seat still kept warm by the presence of this father-but a new king nonetheless. There were challenges, he fumbled a bit-he seemed so much like the lighting instrument of his youth. a little
unfocused, no real strength, no one visible beam-just this hazy sort of spread, a touch of blue from a gel in a frame, some kind of scene to be set-but without
much purpose. Such is the nature of new kings in court. as he came in on such an undecided boat anyway-when his presidency was given to him, and not won.

9-11. It came. And can you imagine the hours and hours and hours and hours of talk and grief and anger and discovery and the shoveling of justice into the coal
fed engines of his mentality? Really-what would that do to any person? 9-11 closed the shutter and focused his beam even more intensely-he was charged,
electrified, and driven.

One might say-that the blood and pain, the questions and the anger of 9-11 were like little lead and iron chips to be thrown into a new kettle and smelted.. And
George was dipped into that liquid metal, but when he thought he was coming out gold-he was actually encased in a type of pig iron that only comes when your
compass has been broken by restrained righteousness.

No man can make a reasonable decision when he is sleeping with ghosts. It probably would surprise some to know-that he internalizes a lot of this-because, he needs human gasoline in his engine to burn-he has to have a purpose, he's been searching his whole life for purpose, and now. tonight he indicates, we will
rewrite history, we will not leave this problem for other presidents, for other congresses, we will win, we will be victorious.

But look at him-did you see him when he talked? His eyes said so much. He wanted to get to the part where he laid his hand on the hilt of his sword-because that is his focus that is his mantra.

Everything else hangs off of this drive, his drive like Christmas lights in February still tacked to the eve of a house-they are there, they are noticed, but they are never turned on and admired-because their season, their time is over.

There is no other train to get on, but this train. His train. The shaking in his words-the quiver of his lip-his righteousness restrained, a barely veiled hate that guises itself with patriotism, when essentially he's talking about killing.

Didn't you hear it?

He spoke at one point about the number of suspected terrorists that were arrested and detained. and then he added.

He added a bit of Texas midnight needle-plunging with that justified death row echo when he mentioned, in a fierce smug that indicated he probably read very, very detailed reports of just how some terrorists were dispatched from this mortal coil, "Some of them you won't have to worry about. they are never coming back."

And this is the man who says that under God, and under him-we will conquer our enemies. He's just admitted with the kind of small-town after the hunt café coffee talk, of killing those that have killed us.

I suppose that's nice-and well enough for the mechanic   discussing how we outta bomb those bastards back to the Stone Age. but-but.

This man, our George-he could do that. He has that power.

Is it really responsible to let one man so full of sharp and coal-fed emotions to have that kind of control?

Probably not. But too late. It's already here-and this is our train.

Yes policies can be changed. Impassioned consciousness can be raised, and it might be possible for some to see, for some to hear-that it is the man and his
motivation-not necessarily what he says and does, but what he thinks-that is the measuring stick for future floods.

Get your sand bags ready, because he is ready to shape the world with us.

Under God, under a moral umbrella we will be guided and formed. The church and faith will hold hands in a prayer circle inside of our politics-and it reaches
out in missionary strength in billions of dollars for help to other countries-when in our own, people will still die of the same causes. but not in the same numbers. All of that is good, it is a gift of the heart to be generous-however, it is an Indian gift when the umbrella is so stretched that the steel frame pops through the water-proof fabric of promises that can never really be fulfilled, and it is hope groundless.

Tell the pharmaceutical companies to stop charging so goddamn much for drugs for foreign countries. Don't spend a billion dollars. Order the factories, which
produce so many millions of pills to pop out those bad boys as fast as the Coca Cola plant and put a capsule of life extended in the hand of every man, woman, and child who has AIDS, who has diabetes. etc. Lord knows everyone on the earth at one time or the other has drank a Coke, why the fuck should we charge so much money. for LIFE?

The cost for AIDS drugs for Americans might have gone down. but not the added cost of ALL the drugs used to counteract those initial drugs-and keep a body functioning.

That is politics. that is show, that is illusion-a smiling tight black shirt with a buxom assistant, ten white tigers and a glass box with slits for saws. Show
only one side, say the best, paint the world-open the umbrella of the American spirit and the heart-so our righteousness and our prosperity will shade the whole
world.

Inside really. there is a bankruptcy of such purity-because in reality, the wholesomeness of a populace, just doesn't exist. because we are individuals, we are singularly separate and thinking mounds of gray matter. and what we think and do-does matter.

I am left with an uneasiness that I haven't had in  years. Studying him during his speech-I am left with more of an unsettling of the bowels of my political and social morals than I was when I actually had to spend time confined in a small, controlled space with a man who looked right through me, a man who had killed several people-because he thought they fit, and they were asking him for release.

Homeland security wants you. ya know? Do the job of the CIA, be ears and eyes-look and watch out, report and come back with information on your fellow
Americans. which most likely will turn out to be reams of reports on your fellow foreign Americans.

George has purpose now, something that he will never unlock his jaw and let go of. He has been gilded in the suspended and drug out terror of some very
horrible moments, and no ideology, no threat-perceived, and yes he said as long as it is perceived. will be overlooked in the overturning of history.

He is one man, but restrained righteousness is infectious-and when I close my eyes, and let the words really sink in-I can see this loop. a little logical, a little ridiculous, but based on fact.

Out of all the countries that we point out as harboring their weapons of mass destruction. we have the most. And we are the only one to have used a nuclear device to destroy a whole city of human beings.

Whose to say in some other room, in some other time zone-when an early sun is setting and we are just pushing snooze. that someone doesn't say,

"They are to be feared."

They would be right-because restrained righteousness is a big boot to chalk lines drawn on the ground. they are so easily wiped out and walked over.

I would say to him-if I were to meet him again.

"You ignored some very good questions that day in Ft.Worth, but I can understand wanting to get on with your speech. I'm not sorry I met you-but I am sorry you decided to pick up your gun instead of your pen so soon after the funeral, so soon after the mourning-you became America's angry widow, however-you don't lobby people and politicians for change. you come into the
courtroom with a gun under your shirt, and when the prisoner comes in even before he's rendered innocent or guilty-you're going to shoot him. Again and again. There will never be enough repayment for you. There will never be enough because you've molded your purpose in pig iron, a base metal of thought, and no
retrospective rationale will ever be loaded into an empty chamber of your gun."

Sure wish I could impress upon him, that people who only wish you harm-scatter like magpies off of a harvested cornfield. The dispersement may seem to be a
black cloud in the horizon-but for the bulk that you can see-there are hundreds of individuals flying, their own directions. lone wolves, who will never be found-and never be caught.

You can't prevent harm. you can only fortify yourself-and not in neighbor-spying agencies and limited rights for citizens. You fortify yourself with integrity, and that doesn't automatically come out of the bible, or just because you say God and
justice-it's born of action, and all those spaces in-between your words.

Speak softly and breathe dear George. Go into a locked room and scream. Your restrained righteousness is your shaking words and quivering lip. not mine.

Peace to you George, and for any young man or woman, civilian or otherwise that will meet an end because of this inevitable train that's steaming on a one-way
track-if there is talk amongst the literati and the liberals, the hippies and the students that your fight is not honorable. you are honorable, and because you
risk the ultimate, and I do not-you are forever gilded, not gold-but an invisible metal from my heart and from my prayers.

Come back safely.


The Monkey Goes Where the Wind Blows
By Dave Tomar
January 20, 2003

                     

This week, UN weapons inspectors finally uncovered what the Bush administration has excitedly characterized as “several smoking guns,” all of which have illustrated the incontrovertible need for immediate military action in Iraq.  After two months of fruitless investigation in Baghdad, a newly dispatched corp. of inspectors bearing the name Team Alabama made the startling discovery in the home of Iraqi scrap-metal salvager Raqi Mareidi, just south of Baghdad.  Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld spoke of the revelation in a Friday press conference, explaining that “Mareidi’s involvement in a plot to destroy freedom became apparent beyond a reasonable doubt yesterday when inspectors found an egg-beater in his kitchen sink.  It is clear, according to the same American forensics experts that worked on the O.J. Simpson prosecution team, that this utensil was used to mix a fluid of some sort.  So there you have it.  Chemical warfare.”  Rumsfeld went on to reiterate the promise to Americans that “Iraq’s civilians will pay for this terrorism with their lives.”  Mareidi, who was subsequently taken into U.S. custody in a series of plastic shopping bags, commented only that “my family and I saved up for six years to buy that egg-beater.”  An unidentified American military official present at the time of his apprehension responded to the claim by indicating that “even if the egg-beater had indeed only been used to make a Denver omelet, UN sanctions imposed upon Iraq following the first Gulf War state clearly and in no uncertain terms that Iraqi consumption of eggs, waffles, pancakes, the Denny’s Grand Slam Value Meal or any other food commonly associated with the hearty American-style breakfast is strictly forbidden under penalty of total annihilation.  It’s the only way Saddam Hussein will learn.”

The Mareidi discovery was not the only undeniable material breach of the American drafted U.N. resolution seeking full Iraqi disarmament.  According to a report on the matter, released by the White House late Friday, independent American reconnaissance revealed an Iraqi orphanage containing upwards of forty “bed-shaped items that we believe to be nuclear warheads.”  The report credited the information to “a series of grainy, unintelligible, still-frame photographs taken from the inside of an ice-cream truck hidden behind a mattress store in Oakland, California.”  As a pre-emptive response to the aggression implied by the photographs, American B-2 bombers already stationed in the region dropped 13 kilotons of explosives on the building.  As to an international allegation that the structure may have actually contained orphans, Armed Forces General Tommy Franks assured that, “if we hadn’t killed them yesterday, they would have starved to death anyway.” 

This new cache of evidence that Saddam Hussein is beginning to orchestrate a major global coup comes at a most crucial time, according to Bush administration officials.  The President spoke on the matter just after the discovery on Thursday afternoon, asserting that “this could not have come at a better time.  We were this close to admitting we were only in it for the oil.  But now we can get back to pretending it has something to do with weapons or terrorists or something.”  Bush went on to detail his anger with Hussein, proclaiming to be “sick and tired of Iraqi deception.”  The President followed up his strong words by succumbing to a crying fit in front of forty reporters.  He was quickly ushered from his dais, spoon-fed a bowl of pudding and put down for his daily afternoon nap.  White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer closed the day’s comments by discounting a U.N. request for a new timeline on completing weapons inspections.  As to an extension that would exceed the January 27th deadline for a full U.N. report, Fleischer explained that “the president can’t even read a bus schedule so a weapons inspection timeline is meaningless to him.  And we don’t see the need for such delays.  I mean, how hard can it be to find some missiles?  This isn’t rocket science here.” 

And as the White House waits patiently for a legitimate go-ahead for military action, the 250,000 plus American troops that have already been planted on the ground in surrounding nations such as Yemen, Qatar, Kuwait and Turkey, are operating under conditions of heightened readiness.  All military personnel have been instructed to practice common urban combat procedural techniques on the indigenous peoples of their temporary residences in preparation for the coming war.  Stated Joint Chief of Staff Richard Myers during a Wednesday briefing, “we like to keep our men limber and focused.  Fortunately, in most of the countries where our forces currently occupy ground, the inhabitants look exactly like Iraqis.  It makes raids and bombings on the unarmed civilians here seem just like the real thing.”  Most Bush administration officials are confident that the recently uncovered breaches of the inspection process will constitute necessary mobilization, and CNN has substantiated this assumption by repeatedly airing a two-second clip from a 1998 file in which U.N. inspections chief Hans Blix is heard to state, “um . . . yes.” 

As U.N. inspectors have grappled to interpret the new discovery in Iraq, tens of thousands of protestors gathered this past Saturday in Washington D.C. and San Francisco to rally for a peaceful solution to the Iraqi situation.  Vice President Dick Cheney spoke disparagingly of the resistance to White House policy during a weekend press conference, explaining that “this small group of dissenters does not represent the opinion of most Americans.  Most Americans have no opinion.”  The Vice President died and was resuscitated three separate times during that sentence.  Shortly thereafter, his body was returned to the massive latex chamber where he hibernates for three and a half weeks out of every month.  One aide who demanded anonymity said of the Vice President’s health condition and consequent public scarcity, “you can’t prosecute somebody you can’t find.” 

Finally, this week, the Bush administration has announced plans to honor the birthday of Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., whose life will be celebrated this Monday, with a historical reenactment.  The White House released a statement extolling the virtues of “this great and cherished American,” promising to pay tribute to the memory of his heroic struggle for racial equality by turning fire hoses on unsuspecting affirmative action lobbyists. 

And remember, as always, the monkey goes where the wind blows.


Lack of Leadership
By Sean F. Holland
January 24, 2003

Madness, mayhem and insanity....
 
In the current rush to destroy one facet of the "evil axis", and
seemingly to obfuscate the economic situation at home, our erstwhile resident in the White House would have us believe that war is a realistic solution.  In his attempt to blind America to the shortcomings and drastic change in the financial situation at home, he asks us to believe "war" will resolve our problems.  Instead of providing real leadership in a world that cries out for wisdom and creative answers to hunger, ignorance, poverty, and conflict, he pretends that placing our youth as well as countless innocent citizens of Iraq in harms way, will somehow bring us peace, prosperity and security.
 
This delusional approach to problem solving is as realistic as using a flame thrower to save ones home from termites.  Yes, you could eliminate the termites, but at what cost to your home.  Is there no leader in Washington with the courage and good sense to point out that Bush, and his hawkish band of cohorts are proceeding down a rocky road fraught with disaster?  In their foolish attempt to remove a dictator who poses little real danger to America, they ask us to support this approach to problem solving.  No, the danger to America resides in our very own White House.

In the past two years our country has moved from prosperity and plenty to debt and dismay.  Most states are suffering under incredible deficit financing, and the National Debt is quickly heading skyward.  Where leadership is lacking, foolish schemes to thwart the goals of clean air and water, to undo the preservation of our national forests, and to increase our dependence upon foreign oil by building ever larger SUV's are foisted upon us as answers.  Instead of leadership to bring peace and stability, we have cast aside our role as world leader, to become world bully.  Instead of leading in the cause for reducing global warming, we lead in global harming.  Destruction of Saddam will do nothing to stabilize world peace, and will ultimately lead to increased terrorism, hatred and further divide our world.
 
On Sunday, thousands will attend and millions will watch the Superbowl, where teams from East and West will battle to determine a winner.  This is entertainment, and this battle will leave a euphoric sense of victory for the winners, while the losers will say "wait until next year." However, death and destruction will not be part of the celebration, and everyone gets to walk away from the fray.  Not so, when war begins in Iraq.  This battle will provide winners and losers, as well as thousands of innocent victims.   In a needless and destructive orgy of blame, America will manage to destroy Saddam, along with thousands of civilian's held hostage to our paranoia about "evil doers" abroad, while the "evil doers" in Washington attempt to bask in adulation for their "leadership."
 
In America there will be victims as well.  Families who will receive flags to commemorate their sons and daughters who died to save our "liberty", or families who will welcome home their maimed and injured children, who fought to preserve Texaco, Shell and Exxon's claim to Iraq's oil. 
 
It is time for the true patriots of America to stand up and say "NO", to those in Washington who would attempt to delude the world into believing that anything will be solved by this war.  Time to stand up and be counted in opposition to this rush to judgment that will promote neither world peace nor America's safety.  It is imperative that we find leaders in Washington who have the strength and wisdom to listen to those world leaders standing in opposition to Bush and Rumsfield.  Leaders to oppose the bellicose and belligerent words of those who would lead America into harms way, rather than lead us towards peace and prosperity. 

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